You can switch from your old phone to the new Google Pixel or close your eyes and breathe. Switch to the new Google Pixel carefully. Sorry. The narrator for this new ad-meets-ASMR meditation session from Google is turned on and trying to force itself into a higher level presence where edible has not yet begun.
The video above walks you through the process of bringing all of your data to the new Pixel and gives you meditation advice on top of a stunning landscape slideshow. Comfort at first, but don’t take it too seriously. The cool vibe eventually turns into a cut line of existential horror and rotates the video completely into the cringey meme realm.
Here is a lightly edited script. The VergeSlack after editor Chris Welch pastes the appropriate response “…what” into the link.
Me: This is actually very stressful.
Chaim Gartenberg: friiiiiiiiiiday
Chaim: strong Friday brand energy
Chaim: Also we need to do this 1000% tldr
Sean O’Kane: Cameron You’re right, there’s something really stressful about this.
Mitchell Clark: what is it
Sean: You will have what Google has.
Chris Welch: That’s…. God.
Me: Oh… maybe…
Dan Seifert: Big Palm Landscape Commercial Atmosphere
Dieter Bohn: WTF This is a huge farm-free advertising energy